The Latest Fashion
by Sky of Silver
Summary: In need of the latest video games, Dan assists a certain Kabra in updating his wardrobe.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

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><p>It's sunny spring day, with swallows dipping to and fro, illuminated by the baby blue sky, kites performing a welcoming dance to the new life, the aurora of blooming flowers from nearby gardens and floral shops, and a feeling of ease and joy. Everyone is smiling; no one seems to be able to resist the good nature flowing through the fresh air.<p>

Yet you are immune to all this. In the gloomy shadow of a steel factory bellowing ominous plumes of smoke, the only visible disturbance of peace, you stand, hunched over. A foreboding scowl seems permanently etched onto your handsome features of molten rock, which are radiating fury.

_I cannot believe that I am being made for such a fool, _you think and grimace. _That git better be ready to suffer my revenge! _But first you must escape this prison.

Your dark amber eyes shoot out rays of crimson burning fire as you glare at the source of your misfortune. The head of blond turns, as if sensing the hate directed toward him, and smirked, a close copy of your infamous signature look. If possible, you scowl even harder; steam practically rising from your head. _Too __bad __looks __can__'__t __kill, _you think. _Calm yourself. Don't let the rascal see your frustration._

"Having fun, Cobra?" he asks.

You uphold your honor- or as best you can when dressed like a 5-year old- and ignore him. The bloody scum turns back to his "ninja training" (or public declaration of stupidity, as you see it), and even as he kicks and flips (failing terribly), there is unhidden mirth radiating off his custom-made ninja suit, adding to the overall good-cheer of the afternoon.

Glumly, you kick an empty soda can, only to see the grinning face of Dora looks up at you, a painful reminder of your suffering. In your peripheral vision, you see a streak of red-brown approaching the dish-clout and turn your head in interest. _Maybe __she__'__ll __help __me, _you think. Daniel gleefully points in your direction and the girl glances over to your island of gloom. She squints at first, as your hiding place is a good covering. A true Kabra, you tilt your head, chin up. Your face, however, betrays you, and a faint tinge of red dusts your cheeks.

The girl, jaw open, displays a quick inventory of emotions. First, disbelief, next a slow grin creeping through despite attempts to cover it, then sudden annoyance at Daniel, and finally, a full out, uncontrolled laugh, all disguise gone. She has to hold herself up against the closest maple, and you glower at her, kicking another empty can. _So __much __for __rescue._

After laughing her heart out, the girl calms down enough to speak, and the wind carries their voices toward your beet red ears.

"Dan!" she protests, "You did it did, didn't you? I know you did!"

"Me? Why would I, a ninja master, bother with _him_? I have much more important things to attend than to amuse myself with that Cobra!" The effect of his words is ruined, though, when he lets out a snort, glancing back at you.

Amy raises an eyebrow, attempting to hide her grin.

"Really!" Dan insists.

No reply.

"Wow, you really can keep your eyebrows up a long time..."

…Nothing.

"Okay! Fine, so maybe I had a bit to do with it. Just... er... a bit..."

"Ha! I knew it! It is pretty good though..." Amy turns and appraises your 'outfit'. You can feel her eyes soaking up the Dora shoes, pink knee socks with Boot's face encrusted on them, purple slacks with rainbows and maps, over-sized t-shirt with all the Dora characters on it, and the purple backpack with a pink cap thrown carelessly to the side. "How'd you do it? Ian would never voluntarily wear that."

A sly grin erupts on Dan's face like a messy volcano, and he whispers in Amy's ear. "Sneaked into his room... diary... scared... bunnies... Buffy... blackmail..."

The girl smirks, than attempts (terribly) to cover it up. _What__'__s __with __everyone using__my __signature __expression? _You wonder. _Was __being __dressed __like _this _not __torture __enough?_

"So are we just going to leave him there?"

"Sure, why not? Better than sharks, right? He'll just have to wait till dark. Unless he wants to be seen like a Dora the Explorer fanatic."

And indeed, there is no escape for you. The factory is the only solid piece of shadow this far away from town; picnic blankets and running children already occupy others within sprinting distance.

"Yeah. But I think we should provide him a bit of comfort for his long wait." At this, Amy bent down to whisper in Dan's ear.

Dan smirks (_AGAIN!_) and hurriedly departs. Feeling like an animal on display as girl once again peers at you, and chuckles at your caged expression. Before you can even attempt to convince her into releasing you, she pulls out a thick novel from no apparent place and begins to read.

Making use of your free time, you consider your options. (1) Walk home with your head held high, and ignore all comments due to your fashion sense, (2) commence 'spy mode' and blend your way home, (3) beg Dan for forgiveness of whatever sin you have committed, (4) appeal to Amy's forgiving and kind nature, or (5) call Natalie and probably give her more blackmail material.

Well, option 1 was great and all, except that you'll probably be the star of a gaggle of tourists' photo albums. As for 2, it was probably the only way to get home, though there weren't many shadows at this time of day. Option 3. Forget it. _I__'__m __never __going __to _beg _to _him. Option 4 was possible, if Amy was feeling helpful. She hadn't protested earlier upon seeing you in your condition, but that could be changed. In fact, she hadn't even extracted any cruel _or _unusual punishment on Dan. Option 5 was just as bad as afore mentioned option 3.

Deciding to try Amy, then 'spy mode', you glance back at the girl with her nose stuck in a book, as per usual. "Lo- Amy!"

She glances up, annoyed. "What, Dora?"

"So- uh... beautiful day, yes?" You push back a scowl and silently groan. You hadn't even prepared your strategy of persuasion!

"Yeah, it is. Your presence does put a damper on it though."

"What, it's not enough that I am sacrificing myself for your entertainment? Must you insult me too?"

"Um... let me think. Yes!"

"You sure changed a lot, Love," you reply, ignoring the jab. _Soften __the __victim __down, _you recite, _wait __for __them __to __let __down __their __guard. _

Amy only raises an eyebrow in answer.

"The little bugger's right. You _can _raise your eyebrows well. Say, did you go to an eyebrow lifting school to learn the art? I think I might sign up. I do need to polish my skills. Need to stop Natalie from baiting me with jests."

"About what?" Amy inquires in spite of herself. You smile.

"My, uh- you know what? I believe we should converse on another topic. This one's getting too personal."

"Oh right, of course! Because talking about your sister is way too personal to talk about compared to, say, _toying __with __one__'__s __love __life! So she hadn't forgotten._

Wincing, you comply. "Well, so maybe Korea was a bit- extreme. However, I don't see why Natalie's jests matter so much to you."

"You owe me. For practically every single time we were in a 50-foot radius of each other."

"I really loathe American units of measurements. What's wrong with using meters like the rest of the world?"

Eyebrow raise. _I __really __need __to __work __on __that, _you mentally note.

"Fine. But come closer. I'm not going to yell it to the whole park."

Amy wearily obliged, and Ian smirked. "So?"

"Well, I really hate to admit this... after all, it is a violation of my private information."

"So I came all that way for nothing?"

"You took ten steps!"

"Actually, it was eleven. And a half."

"And a hal- never mind. I can't believe you would press me about such irreverent subjects while I am dressed like _this_! You should at least help me! It's what I would've done if you were in this situation!"

"Oh, speaking of your attire, I shouldn't be seen communicating with you. Ruins the reputation and all." And with those parting words of comfort, Amy smirked and flounced off, no longer worried about Natalie.

"You'll be regretting this for the rest of your life!" you yell in a final, desperate attempt.

"Quite the contrary, I would think!" she called back.

Grumbling to yourself, you make sure Amy is once more immersed in her book before attempting Mission 'Spy Mode'. Pulling the pink cap on to shade your eyes and hefting Backpack, you slide along the wall, recalling the long hours of training, while humming an adventure theme song you picked up over the radio at some cafe.

_Dun __dun, __do __do __do, __dun __dun __dun, __do __do... _you hum under your breath. You have now reached the outer reaches of the factory's shadow, and prepare to dash for the playground tunnel, the only uninhabited piece of land left in shade. Checking to see that Amy is still absorbed in her novel, you dash for the tunnel. Finally, in what seems like forever, and after nudging a couple children to the side, you duck in.  
>"Ahh..." you sigh in relief.<p>

Suddenly, you freeze. "This is my tunnel, peasant," you stage whisper.

The boy's voice is obnoxiously loud in your ears. "But dis playground is for everybody! My mommy told me!"

"Yeah, well, your mummy's wrong. This disgusting, plastic, puke green tunnel is _mine_, so back off."

The kid lets out a whimper. Your tone is pretty persuading. "Mommy said that 'shwaring is caring'!"

"Look, I don't give a flying Armani suit about what your mommy says. Just get out! Or else!"

"Or else what? And what's a 'Awmani suit'?"

"Or else... Or else I'll sue you!" When the boy adopted a blank face to his prior curious one, you add, "And your precious mommy, daddy, siblings, and any relatives! I'll sue your pets too!"

"Who's Sue?"

"Sue is your worst nightmare."

"Ohhhhhh. You mean _her_?" he whispers.

"Er- Yes, her! So watch out!"

"Okay! I always watch out! I have to because she sells ice cream! I never knew her name was Sue..." he muses.

You bring your hand to your head, as hard a maneuver as it is in such a confined space. "That's your worst nightmare?"

"Yeah. 'Cause at night, her mare, Bessie, always prances around. Do you know what _prances _means? I just learned it!"

"A _horse_?"

"Uh-huh. A mare! The ice cream lady- I mean, Sue, let me ride her once! Have you ever ridden a horse before?"

You stare. "I- I need to leave," you manage to choke out.

"Okay! See you next time!" the boy chirps to your retreating back.

Sadly, you have been so brainwashed by the cursed boy that you have forgotten about other menaces. Just in time, you worm your way into the tunnel again. Daniel's toes are visible in your peripheral vision, and you scoot into the green tube even more.

This time, you are too far away to hear the siblings' conversation, though you can see Dan's arms waving around- very immature- and Amy pointing in your direction. Evidently, you did not escape Amy's notice. _The Clue Hunt has taught them well. Too well. _Now, you are stuck in between two enemies. _How __did __I __get __myself __into __this __mess?, _you wonder. The Cahill siblings are approaching. In Dan's arms, he holds the latest torture device- a pair of pink heart adorned boxers and a colorful beach blanket with, of course, Dora and friends all over it.

Thinking fast, you talk to the boy next to you. "Let's play a game. You see those peasants approaching us? They are trying to find and capture us, okay? We must hide from them and never let them touch us."

"What are peasants? And you mean hide-and-seek, right? I love that game!"

"Yes, we are playing... Hide-and-Seek. Peasants are poor people, like the two approaching us."

"If they're poor, why are we running? 'Cause that means that we're kings, right? So it doesn't make sense. Let's be the- um, peasants- and they can be the evil king and queen!"

_I __can__'__t __believe __I__'__m __agreeing __to __be __a _peasant. "Sure. Hurry! They're coming!"

The boy immediately dashes toward the grove of trees nearby. Sadly, you can't do the same, seeing as a dark-haired wonder dressed in bright pink might attract unwanted attention. Still crouched in the meager hiding place, you get ready to run- Amy is already headed toward the tunnel. _Smart __girl. __Why __can__'__t __she __suddenly __forget __she __ever __saw __me?_

As red hair begins to climb us the steps leading to the tunnel, you stumble out, knock your head painfully against the tunnel, and sprint toward the trees.

_Maybe __I __can __blend __with __other __girls __dressed __in bright __pink __Dora __clothes, _you think helplessly.

"Dan!" You hear, and start running faster.

"Cobra! You won't get away!"

"Eat my dust, Daniel," you manage to call back.

This however, proves unwise, as you crash into a oak tree, acorns sprinkling over you. Your last view of the outside world was a squirrel looking as if he just drank a round of root beer. _My __poor __hair. N__ow __I __will __be __forever __shamed. __And __what__'__s __with __the __squirrel? _Those were the last of your thoughts as you blacked out.

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><p>You blink, adjusting to the bright light and the three faces framed against the leafy trees that cast shadows onto you.<p>

"Yo, you okay, Cobra?"

"Hey! You bumped into that tree and crashed and acorns fell on you and this weird squirrel foaming at the mouth- like he just drank root bear- bit you on the nose and then you were crying and sucking your thumb and the evil king and queen found you though it turns out that they're not really evil 'cos Dan and Amy- that's their names- are really nice and even gave you this blanket so you won't be cold!

"Did you get a concussion, _peasant_?"

As smart as you are, it takes you a while to process everything. You reach towards you face, and indeed, you feel dried blood on your nose and a thumb in your mouth. Wiggling your toes in your uncomfortable shoes, you feel a blanket and sense the evilness radiating off it.

"Get that thing off me!" you groan.

Amy visibly relaxes and Dan, assured that you're okay, whips out a phone and starts taking pictures. _Flash. Flash. Flash._

"Hmm," Dan mummers, "a bit to the left. Yes, good angle, capture the nose. Now, whom should I send this to? Perhaps Natalie? I hear she was looking forward to a new dress, courtesy of her dear brother. Or Isabel? She must be wondering how her dear son is getting on. Do they even have phones in prison? Or, better yet, why not the whole Cahill family? I am however, needing some new video games... I _could _be persuaded to delay this message if I get some games to play. Or maybe just delete everything?" Dan winked suggestively.

"Oh! Can I play them with you? I love Ninja Gaiden!" The small boy chirped. Amy groaned.

Then, the girl perked up. "I _could_ use some new books."


End file.
